When you read the title of this week's "Why I," you probably thought I meant that I act spontaneously, forging ahead without mulling over what dumb decisions I've made. Though I try to move forward, that's not what I meant. In fact, I don't believe it's possible to OVERthink things. I would say that people can think about things in productive ways or unproductive ways. If the ways are productive, then all the thinking is useful, while if the thinking is counter-productive, every second is wasted time.
We can second guess choices we've already made, contemplating what we could or should have done differently. Guess what -- nothing changes. We still did or said dumb stuff. Most of the time, when people say that they "overthink" things, they mean that they dwell in those could's and should's, replaying their choices and words in unproductive ways. Turning yourself on your head (notice the photo above) feeling bad about something that can't change can, at worst, make a person sick, and at best, waste a lot of time.
I try to take whatever has happened in the past–even when I acted or spoke in a bonehead way–as a given, something I can't control but can act on and learn from. Then, I focus my thoughts on what I can control, which is how I act and speak moving forward. I can apologize for my stupidity or unkind words. I can try to figure out how to mend a friendship or other relationship. I can remind myself that I don't control anybody's thoughts or actions, only my own, and those only when I think productively.
There's a podcast I appreciate called UnF*ckYourBrain. (Oddly, I can't link it here because my computer's firewall thinks it's something it's not. Still, I recommend that you find and subscribe on your podcast app. [If you don't have a podcast app, use Overcast.]) In that podcast, Kara Loewentheil teaches that our thoughts control our feelings. Though I haven't heard her say this directly, I believe that following her coaching would lead people to think productive thoughts about what they can control, eliminating the whole idea of "overthinking" from our lives.
Maybe you can give that a try this week...and when you do, let me know how it goes in the comments below.