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374. Why Show ‘Em Your Belly

Posted on February 25, 2026February 24, 2026 by caritagardiner
Screenshot 2025-04-20 at 12.25.26 PM

I miss Tuukka. Look at the photo above. Can you remember the last time you trusted someone that much? Tuukka was great at giving himself over to the joys of the belly rub. He would get our attention, and then lie down like this, knowing that he was about to get exactly what he wanted–belly scratches.

Even though most humans aren't able to open ourselves up like this, we have to remember that the only ways to get what we want are to work for it and/or to ask for it. We have to, maybe not literally, expose our soft underbellies to show what we need. Even knowing that we are defenseless in this position, we have to be willing to open ourselves up this way. It's not easy to trust, but without it, we'll never form the deep relationships we need for fulfillment and happiness.

I know Brené Brown does a lot of interesting work, encouraging people to be vulnerable, and I think at the core of those efforts is that we have to expose our weaknesses if we have any hope of strengthening them. We have to reveal what we lack in order to fill the gaps.

What do you think about showing your belly? Scary? Yes. But also useful? Yep, that too. Please share your responses in the comments.

2 thoughts on “374. Why Show ‘Em Your Belly”

  1. Pattie says:
    February 25, 2026 at 4:17 pm

    It’s hard to look at that pic of Tuukka and think he was being courageous! I love that image though, and he was so successful at being rewarded. For me, exposing a vulnerability really is scary. Maybe more Tuukka-trust would help.
    Pattie

    Reply
    1. caritagardiner says:
      February 26, 2026 at 8:30 pm

      Yes, I guess “courageous” isn’t exactly right — more like letting himself be vulnerable, which is harder for lots of us humans than for puppies (though I think it’s a good sign that he felt safe enough to lie this way, expose himself like this). It certainly takes a willingness to expose ourselves at the level of asking for what we need to have any hope of getting it. Yes, we all need more Tuukka-trust in our lives.

      Reply

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WHAT I DO

I serve as a class dean and teach English to high schoolers at a boarding school in Connecticut. I’ve earned a Bachelor of Arts (Amherst College), an Education Master in Learning and Teaching (Harvard University Graduate School of Education), a Master of Arts in English (Bread Loaf School of English), and most recently a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing with a certificate in the online teaching of writing (Southern New Hampshire University).

As a writer, I hope to capture the complexity and joy of life in the New England boarding school world. On this site, I share what I know about trying to write fiction while deaning, teaching English, coaching, and doing the other tasks associated with helping to raise over six hundred other people’s children.

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