The last topic in this five-part series based on Dr. Laurie Santos' "The Happiness Lab: How Talking to a Friend Helps" (linked in the photo above) podcast is the most complicated one to broach. I would guess that Dr. Santos and I aren't the only people who'd prefer to think about ourselves as eternal. I'm guessing that part of the appeal of the vampire genre is the longevity of their existences (and the other part might be how good-looking they all seem to be). Those characters don't get merely a Happily Ever After until death parts them. They get the ever-after of forever. We don't.
If that thought makes you feel blue, I encourage you to listen to the last part of the podcast. Apparently, research shows that when people acknowledge that our time is finite, we appreciate things more. Even more, this works in the short term. When we notice that this is the last time we'll get to do X or Y, we appreciate X and Y more. (Hey, Class of 2025, you're in your last semester; if you're reading this the day it goes live, you have 114 days until graduation. Let yourselves love it.)
It's critical for people to acknowledge the lasts as we pass them so that we can be sure to spend each moment in the way that optimizes joy. One of the best ways to evoke the most pleasure in our limited time is to do nice things for others, so I vow to do the following this week (and I hope some of you will join me and share your responses to the plan in the comments):
- Acknowledge my limited time left.
- Tackle or begin a project on my long-term to-do list.
- Do something nice for someone else.
- Prioritize what matters to me and work toward one of the high-priority items.
What else should we do because we know we don't have forever? Please share your ideas in the comments.
This is much like the stoic philosophy. While I don’t agree with all of it, I appreciate that if you think about all you might lose (family, health, job) that you take for granted, then you value it more. This has often been done in the modern world by acknowledging what you are grateful for. With the day off tomorrow, we should all have a big party!
Well said! If you make it up to Maine today, I’d happily host the party! If not, we can celebrate in parallel ways. Have a great day off!
A long time ago, or so it seems now, there was a popular saying that when something like “ Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” I never quite got that, though I realize it was basically saying every day is a new opportunity blah blah. I changed it so that when I say anything like that at all, I say ” Today is the last day of the rest of your life.” It’s a wee bit shocking when I say it to myself, but I guess that’s basically the point: to shock myself out of complacency. One could say today is the last day of democracy, and perhaps that might shake a few more people out of complacency with is going on right now. Dunno. I have become increasingly fond of “everything happens for a reason” too. Sometimes it softens the blow like when I smashed the right side passenger mirror or accidentally booked a hotel for the wrong night!
I like each of these reframes because they give us room to try new things and/or mess up without feeling bad about the blunders. It’s always good to shock oneself out of complacency! Thanks.