If you've been reading this blog for a while, you read the first iteration of Why Parenting is Hard in May 2020. I'm linking it here, in case you want to go back to it. Well, here we are four years later, and I have more thoughts on the topic. They're related, to be sure, but new enough that I decided to put another post on the topic into the world.
As you can see from the first-day-of-school photo I took more than a dozen years ago on the walk to the bus stop, my daughters were perfect. They still are, so anything I write about how hard parenting is is about my flaws, not theirs.
In my other post on parenting, I wrote about my difficulty of striking a balance between wanting both to give them everything and to avoid spoiling them. Lately, I've been thinking more about the desires to smooth the path for them and to push them to become independent. Here are some of the balancing acts:
- I don't want to upset my kids, but I want to make sure they know the full truths.
- I want my kids to learn how to do things independently, but I don't ever want them to experience the pain of an unfixable mistake.
- They need to learn resilience, but the only way to do that is to experience big set-backs.
- I want to support them and also want them to learn to stand on their own two feet.
Parents, how do you decide which way to lean on these questions? Children (of all ages), what did your parents do to help move you closer to becoming independent adults (even if you're not there yet)? Please share responses/advice/warnings in the comments.
Such hard questions, and you’re a great mom for asking them. Wish I had answers. xo
🙂
I struggle with these same questions every single day. No answers.
It really is hard. Parent solidarity!