I took the screenshot above from the Wumo website, whose funny comics you might want to check out.
One trope that comes up often in romance novels is the idea that two people are attracted to each other but see too many obstacles between themselves and a relationship. Their "cure" often involves going all-in to get the attraction out of their systems. As you might guess, rather than snuffing out their lust for each other, they pour gasoline on the flames. Spending time together, they like each other more and eventually, because it's the primary feature of the genre, find their happily ever after.
Over my lifetime, I've tried to quit or take a break from doing lots of things I know I shouldn't do (or shouldn't do as much). Maybe I don't have as many bad habits as Alex in the comic above, but the pile of doughnuts behind him is hitting close to home and I would thoroughly enjoy running a finger around that cake to scoop the vanilla frosting. When I've planned periods of abstinence, I often think I'll go out with a bang. (I promise, that's not a pun related to the romance convention above.) If I'm giving up eating sugar for New Year's, I'll spend my December packing in the sweets to get so grossed out with my own behavior that I really want to stick with the no-sugar plan.
Obviously, there are two major problems with this approach.
First, I'm doing more of something that I already know I should be doing less. As much as I love sugar, trying to eat more of it isn't ever helping me to feel better. I do end up grossing myself out -- never an ideal feeling.
Second, it doesn't work. I can be pretty disgusted with my own behavior and still want more of the thing I'm trying to quit. In fact, though I don't know the biology or chemistry involved, I'm pretty sure the more sugar I eat, the more sugar my body craves. Instead of getting it out of my system, I prime my system to demand it.
I know we all like a good landmark date on which to start a new plan. Lots of people try to start new programs or quit bad habits on the New Year or on a birthday, even on the first of the month or the first day of next week, but for most of us, those dates come and go with our still having all the same bad habits as before. If we want to start a new program or quit something that doesn't serve our long-term goals, the best time to do that is right now. If the goal is to do what's best (and isn't that always the goal?), why do we sometimes convince ourselves to do more of what's worst first?
Do you find yourself falling into this pattern, too? Please share any funny stories or helpful advice in the comments.
As a fellow sugar addict, the more-sugar=more-craving problem is all too familiar. But, after months of abstinence and much less craving, I still happily return to my old ways. Why would I do that?!
Pattie
Maybe that was a rhetorical question, but I’m going to answer it. Because sugar tastes great. Eating sweets brings me great joy. I’d love to learn to live with control rather than abstinence or binging. In many ways, eating small amounts seems much more difficult to me than eating none. Maybe we’ll master that approach…someday.
In my case, I need to plan ahead of time to prepare myself mentally and physically. I stopped eating gluten almost four years ago, and the preparation took me 1.5 years:)
I have been thinking about quitting sugar and will attempt to eliminate it after the kids start school. ( When no one is eating ice cream around me:)) We’ll see how it goes.
Yes, I hear that. I like to get myself excited for something like that, but it’s better to get prepared without going in the wrong direction first. Also, yes, it’s WAY harder to make any big change when we’re surrounded with people who aren’t changing with us.
I say, “it’s never too late to procrastinate.”
hehehe