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204. Why Deal with Our STUFF

Posted on November 23, 2022November 23, 2022 by caritagardiner
IMG_6096

The photo above has nothing to do with the post, but isn't he cute? Also, if you see my dad (RG) or cousin (CW) today, please wish either/both of them a happy birthday.

I have a rule in my classroom check-ins that students aren't allowed to say anything negative, including complaining about stress, workload, and exhaustion. Science shows (please look it up rather than asking for my sources) that when we focus on the negative, we feel worse, and when we accentuate the positive, we can feel better. I like to remind my students to pay attention to what's good in their lives as they work towards improving what's bad. That approach helps me not to hear complaint after complaint of too much work or not enough sleep.

My rule doesn't allow students to show the full picture. In fact, at times in our lives, we all have STUFF to deal with.

  • Stress
  • Time constraints
  • Uncertainty
  • Fear
  • Fatigue

If we focus all our energy on these aspects of our lives, we could feel miserable; however, if we acknowledge and deal with each, we can feel our best. If you've been reading my blog for more than a week, you know how much I like to-do lists and taking baby steps. These approaches help me handle my STUFF in ways that eliminate problems rather than masking them (as hours of Netflixing or TikToking might do). For example, if I'm afraid of something, I figure out where the fear comes from and try to address the issues involved. Once I understand and deal with my STUFF, I can move on to more fun adventures, such as eating candy, reading romance novels, practicing yoga, and enjoying life (not necessarily in that order).

What are some of the productive ways you deal with your STUFF? Please share any advice in the comments.

5 thoughts on “204. Why Deal with Our STUFF”

  1. Richard says:
    November 24, 2022 at 12:00 pm

    Brilliant!
    Thanks.

    Reply
    1. caritagardiner says:
      November 24, 2022 at 12:08 pm

      Thanks! Glad we all got to talk. Love, c

      Reply
  2. Richard says:
    November 24, 2022 at 3:33 pm

    So am I.
    Happy Thanksgiving.

    Reply
  3. Hasan says:
    November 27, 2022 at 4:06 pm

    Totally unrelated to the main points of the post, but I could not help to comment on the lovely stove and warm ambiance completed with charming Tuukka! When I first saw cabin pictures in the earlier posts, I wondered if there would be a wood stove because I believe a cabin without a stove would not be so complete. We all love to sit by our wood stove insert while reading, playing board games, or watching a movie. Like Tuukka, our older kid loves lying by the stove as he is just now!

    Reply
    1. caritagardiner says:
      November 27, 2022 at 6:57 pm

      We completely agree. We knew we wanted a wood stove, but hadn’t figured out where to put it yet. We got it installed on Monday and enjoyed a fire that night. Then, we came back to CT on Tuesday. We’re looking forward to having more fires in it when we go back over December’s vacation. I hope you and your family had a great week together. So much to be thankful for!

      Reply

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WHAT I DO

I teach English to high schoolers at a boarding school in Connecticut. I read AP English Literature and Composition exams and serve as a teacher mentor for the University of Pennsylvania Teaching Fellows program. I’ve earned a Bachelor of Arts (Amherst College), an Education Master in Learning and Teaching (Harvard University Graduate School of Education), a Master of Arts in English (Bread Loaf School of English), and most recently a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing with a certificate in the online teaching of writing (Southern New Hampshire University).

As a writer, I hope to capture the complexity and joy of life in the New England boarding school world. On this site, I share what I know about trying to write fiction while teaching English, coaching, and doing the other tasks associated with helping to raise over six hundred other people’s children.

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