Carita here: If you've been reading the blog for a few weeks, you got to read an earlier guest post by another one of my students. If you haven't read that one, here's the link that shows her essay and explains the assignment. Today, you'll get to read an essay by Caroline Irwin '29. I'm delighted with the way Caroline demonstrates that one seemingly insignificant moment can change a person's life. I hope you enjoy her essay as much as I did. Without further ado, here's Caroline's essay:
I never used to be a breakfast person. In fact, I despised breakfast for as long as I could remember. Every single morning, I traded in the opportunity for bacon and eggs for an extra twenty minutes of sleep. Not getting up early was just who I was, a part of my DNA, I suppose. However, this mindset quickly changed upon my arrival at Hotchkiss.
On the second night of school, a group of girls, myself included, went down to the lake to explore our new home. We talked, we laughed, and we attempted to become more than just acquaintances. As the sun began to set, our cohort headed back up the path toward Main Building, and all of our minds began to wander to the uncertainty of the next day. That was when a simple but important question cut through the conversation: “Who wants to go to breakfast with me tomorrow?” I looked at who had asked the question. It was a girl whose name (as I had learned thirty minutes prior) was Lilah.
As everyone around us grumbled with responses such as, “Sorry, I want to sleep in,” and, “I’m definitely not walking to the FFC [Carita here: the FFC is the Ford Food Court, which was our temporary cafeteria while our Main-Building-attached dining hall was being renovated. Okay, back to Caroline] so early in the morning.” I, on the other hand, considered the question for an entirety of two seconds before blurting out, “I will!” Saying yes to the proposal felt against my nature, almost dishonest to my true self, but for that moment, I put aside my disdain for the meal and considered the possibilities it could bring me. I thought about the potential friendship that stood in front of me, and the ways in which I wanted to grow in my time away from home. The next morning at 7:45 sharp, Lilah and I met at the crosswalk leading to the MAC [Carita again: Mars Athletic Center, which is next to the FFC], and thus, the routine began.
Every single day, without fail, Lilah and I went to breakfast. With each morning, we became closer and closer, and as the months passed, we gained two new breakfast-goers: Alex and Blaine. By the time they joined, my perspective on the meal had changed. I no longer saw breakfast as a bothersome, too-early meal, but as the one time of day when I could connect with the people I care about before we all went off to live different days. I began to rely on it to help me get through the day and to grow closer to my friends. Breakfast became a constant for me. The months, the weather, and even the dining hall itself have changed since that September third when I first ate with Lilah. And so have I. Looking back, the words “I will” have been some of the most important words I have uttered in my time at Hotchkiss. They're the very words that brought me here in the first place.
I never thought that I would go to boarding school, yet somehow, last March, I found myself making the biggest and hardest decision of my life. I was so worried about not being with my family, especially about being apart from my twin brother, Henry. For weeks, I worked myself up into a knot of anxiety and fear over what I should do. Eventually, my decision came down to one question: When I graduate in four years, given what kind of person I want to be, what school will help me get there? For me, the answer was Hotchkiss. That was my first big “I will” moment, and I wanted to continue to use that phrase upon arriving on campus.
Deciding to go to breakfast was the first of many times in the past year when I have agreed to do things in order to grow as a person. Whether that’s doing a favor for a friend, even if it is inconvenient for me, or going to a club meeting after having an extremely tiring day, I try to say yes to as much as possible.
In Steven Brao’s “ I had never broken into a car before,” a single moment in his life becomes a lens through which he examines his identity. Breakfast has become that lens for me. Through this routine, I have learned to open up and take advantage of the opportunities presented to me. The action of going to breakfast has brought so much into my life and taught me so many lessons. I have become a more patient, disciplined, and caring person since this ritual began, and I never want to take that development for granted.
As I sat with Alex, Blaine, and Lilah in the dining hall this morning, I thought about how far we have all come. My friends remind me that I did not grow alone, but alongside some of the people who matter most to me. Even today, it makes me smile to think that just a few months ago, we did not even know one another, and I hated breakfast. I love thinking about the tradition we have built together and the ways in which we have helped one another adjust to a totally different way of life.
Similar to Joan Didion’s “On Keeping a Notebook,” I have begun to realize my “why” when it comes to breakfast. In order to go every morning, I must wake up significantly earlier than the people who don’t. I must be extra organized in the morning to expedite the getting-ready process. I never get to spend my mornings studying for a test or completing homework, because a rule of breakfast is that we must be completely engaged with one another, not studying or doing work. With all that being said, many may ask, “Why would you do all of that just for the sake of a meal?” This is a question I certainly would have asked just eight months ago. Well, for me, it all comes back to connection. I didn’t start going to breakfast for the food; I came to bond with another person. That objective has remained the same throughout the months. I go because I get to create connections and start my day with intensely human interactions.
Now, I am proud to call myself a breakfast person. Going to breakfast has changed me for the better and has allowed me to accomplish some of my main goals in attending Hotchkiss: to become more social, to connect with others, and to learn from their experiences. This has allowed me to come into my own and take a step toward becoming my best self.