367. Why Have an Old Friend (GUEST POST)

[Okay, so I know the quality of the photo above is a little grainy, but cut me a break; I took the photo about four phones ago, and what it lacks in pixels, it makes up for in cuteness. The child is a teenager now, and she's a total delight. Her dad and mom and brother are also excellent human beings. It's her dad who wrote the following guest post. Once you read it, you'll probably say to yourself, "Wow, that Carita is really egotistical publishing such a complimentary piece about herself, but I hope you'll also read it thinking about your old friends and how you can be there for them in the ways they need. It's lovely writing and a great reminder of why I stay in contact with people who've crossed my path and improved my journey!]

Without further ado, here's the guest post by my old friend, Sam Prouty:

Making a new friend is exciting, for some of the same reasons that falling in love is so special. We look forward to seeing a new friend; we are eager to get to know them better, to learn their history, to unearth their passions and quirks and hidden talents, to be granted the privilege of access to their fears, or worries, or foibles. A new friend invests us in the future, and teases us about what’s yet to come.

But there is nothing quite so special as an old friend. And, no, I don’t mean a friend whose age is becoming advanced. (It’s killing me not to make all kinds of bad jokes here about just how aged some of my friends are, including the one I am feting herein, who—let it be known—is not like a grandmother to me.) An old friend is someone we might not see very often at all.  An old friend neither provides nor receives constant life updates. An old friend is like the nicest piece of family heirloom furniture in your house…you love it and value it tremendously and would never get rid of it, but you also don’t necessarily think about it every day. An old friend just knows—when you’ve had a hard year, when you need picking up, when life isn’t as lovely as it looks in your social media posts.

I have an old friend. (How old is she?? When she was a kid in school, there was no need for a history class!) My old friend has also been my boss and my mentor and my gut-checker. She has become an old friend to my entire family. She knows that my family and I have been through a particularly stressful and difficult time of late. A new friend might ask all about it—how are things? Is your daughter feeling any better yet?? Do you need to talk???

But, recently, my old friend reminisced with me about shared good times in our adjacent classrooms twenty years ago. My old friend jumped on a Zoom for an hour to give a crocheting lesson to a teenager who needed a reason to smile…and who needed a distraction from the medical morass she has endured (and is still enduring). An old friend already knows all of our stuff. An old friend doesn’t need to name the thing, or ask about the thing, or try to fix the thing. An old friend just shows up and spreads some joy and some love because that’s what we need, and really, that’s all she can do anyway.

New friends are wonderful; they energize and stimulate us. A few of them become old friends. And old friends are there when we have no energy left; they are the reserve fuel in a tank that can feel empty. As we head into a New Year, I hope to make a new friend…and I am so grateful to have an old one, too.

[Back to Carita here. Please share your accolades for Sam and his writing and/or your thoughts about old and new friends in the comments.]