The fourth topic on Laurie Santos' "The Happiness Lab: How Talking to a Friend Helps" episode is about how being busy can get in the way of happiness. At my school, and probably in your life, lots of people feel busy all the time. It's true what Jim Croce sang, "There never seems to be enough time / To do the things you want to do / Once you find them"("Time in a Bottle" lyrics). The question for happiness is how to find the things we want to do.
- Is it smarter to prioritize working toward the future or living in the present?
- How can we prevent regrets?
- What if our goals change?
You can see that this type of list could go on forever without giving any definite answers about how we should spend our time to accomplish our goals and allow for a shifting target.
I love being productive. I'm a huge fan of to-do lists, ta-da lists, staying busy, moving forward, all of it. On the other hand, I fully acknowledge that the best life isn't necessarily the one that checks the most boxes.
I'm reminded of the time-management teacher and his rocks demonstration. If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch this short video; then, come back here to keep reading.
Sometimes, when we're busy, we're filling our lives with sand, which Santos calls "productivity termites." Rather than focusing on what most serves our long-term goals, we check off the many boxes that stand for meaningless projects we can accomplish quickly, painlessly, easily. Task completion feels good in the moment, but it doesn't necessarily move us closer to our long-term aims.
I'm sure I've written about the importance of part-way steps (though I can't remember in which post) toward big-picture goals. I'm a firm believer in taking baby steps, every day, in the direction that matters today. For example, I write every day. Does that mean that I complete a novel every day or that I will always want to keep writing every day? No. It means that today, writing matters to me, so I don't let other things that matter less usurp the time I want to devote to writing, even if I don't (1) accomplish my writing goals or (2) keep the goal on my list forever.
And that's how I think we can make sure that we're not confusing busy-ness with productivity or productivity with happiness. I did write a post on the value I give to getting stuff done, but in it, I didn't explain the importance of deciding what tasks deserve a place on the to-do list. The key to long-term happiness, I think, has to lie in making decisions about how to fill our limited time. To that end, here's my recommendation:
- Make a list of what you care about and rank that list from most to least.
- Figure out how to take steps toward honoring the top of the list first. Devote your time to the items in order of your esteem.
- Reevaluate your list and its rankings frequently.
What do you think? Is this the path to a happy/fulfilled life? Please share your responses in the comments.