I love the smell of lilacs, so I really enjoy walking around our beautiful campus in the spring, when the many bushes are blooming. Of course, I get to enjoy this smell for only a few weeks each year. I don't know if this ephemeral quality makes me like the smell more or just reminds me to appreciate what's good around me at the moment.
I've had a lot of moments to reflect recently, and I've been thinking about some of the many ways I'm incredibly lucky:
- Covid-19 hasn't taken anyone I love away from me.
- I've gotten to spend the time of social isolation in a place with lilacs and green trees rather than elevators and cramped hallways.
- I live with people I enjoy spending time with in a house big enough that we don't have to spend every second together.
- I have a job that I can do from home (for now).
I'm fully aware that many have not been as fortunate as I have in the past several months, and this realization led me to think more deeply about the last item on my list above. I love teaching not because it's easy, but because of the kinds of challenges that working with kids poses.
As a teacher, I often face an opportunity to react to situations that aren't exactly what I would want them to be. Were I queen of the world, I might choose not to allow kids to do some of the following: show up late to class, cheat on essays, write horrible essays, hand in work late, not prepare for quizzes, not do the reading, ask questions in class that have just been asked and answered...the list goes on, but you get the idea.
Students did all of these things during the first three marking periods of the 2019-2020 school year, and they continued to do all of these things during the spring, when we were in our distance learning phase. Earlier in the year, I experienced a variety of negative internal reactions, some of which I probably did a better job of concealing than others. When these things happened in the spring, I found myself saying, "Now is not the time to be a jerk about this." In every moment of coronavirus lockdown, I felt totally aware that some kids are/were going through a lot of the opposite experiences to my easy situation (living in tight places, families with economic and health uncertainty, lost jobs, sickness, and death). When one of my students showed up late to class, in a term in which class attendance wasn't even mandatory, I felt grateful for having him/her/them there. Rather than feeling interrupted because the kid was late, I realized that I was lucky to get him/her/them there at all. My reactions, I hope, showed that I was happy to see all of my students, which is the truth.
But then I had a bigger realization. Obviously now is not the time to be a jerk, but, duh, there is never a right time to be a jerk. Even when kids are on campus and the world is "normal" (whatever that means), they still have things going on in their lives that are scary or uncertain or for any number of reasons demand their attention. They can always choose to come to class or to cut or to show up late, and my being a jerk about what they do doesn't help them want to do better, and it doesn't help me feel better about their choices. If I "hold the line" on every issue and every moment, I can see myself as a keeper of standards or just as an inflexible jerk.
I'm not sure if I've made a clear point here or not, but you can let me know what you think in the comments.
Carita,
Were you to always “hold the line” or never comment you would be deficient. I suspect you fit your response to the “kid’ and sometimes get surprised by unknown-to-you background on a student.
And aim to minimize “jerk” time.
To me you appear to do a darn good job of teaching, advising, and coaching. And ? some in loco parenting .
Kids are wonderful. I’m a relative ignoramus on the computer and my daughter just patiently bailed me out of a jam. I’m sure glad I don’t have to practice medicine with one now.
1 more topic: Reading the CS Monitor regularly I keep coming across “in a word” by Melissa Mohr with about half the time seeing a topic I think might interest you. I wonder if you can scan
them in the Hotchkiss library. I don’t want to bother you with them if not useful.
Thanks for your emails. Stay clear of Covid 19 & my best,
Hi Bill and Jean,
Again, thanks for being my first loyal readers — I’m ever grateful for the support and excited about our next class together next month. (Details to come when I figure them out.)
I agree that practicing medicine online seems way trickier than teaching with much higher stakes for messing up.
I’d love to read the “in a word” essays you find useful. Speaking of computers, can you take a photo of each and email them to me?
Yes, we’re staying home and safe, and I’m glad you are doing the same.
All good things, Carita
I’ve been trying to change my mindset about other drivers this way. My first reaction when someone cut me off or whatever used to be, “what a jerk.” But then I realized sometimes I’ve accidentally cut people off and felt horrible about it. Now I try to remember I don’t know what’s going on in anyone else’s car/mind/life.
There’s such a big lesson here, I agree. The vast majority of people aren’t jerks, and it helps me to remember that they, like me, are doing the best they can with the options they face.