Over my life, I've heard lots of people give the advice to live as if no one is watching. Usually, people advise others to dance that way, but the suggestion has come to mean more generally that we should eschew our inhibitions, let ourselves go, enjoy the moment unselfconsciously, etc. The assumption is that when we concern ourselves with the judgments of others, we hold back and therefore fail to do what's most fun and feels most right.
After so many years of hearing that I should pretend nobody is watching me, I was suprised to hear one of the Peloton instructors, my husband's favorite (Matt Wilpers), say that someone is always watching. During his October 19, 2023 run (which I completed months after it went live), MW talked about how the someone who's always watching you is yourself.
I was lucky that during this lightbulb moment, I didn't trip. His words sent my thoughts in a lot of different directions.
First, since I was on a run, I thought about how much better off I would be if I heeded that advice in my daily diet and exercise. I'm consistent about working out every morning, but sometimes I don't push myself as long or as hard as might be good for me. When it comes to my diet, I usually eat healthy foods, but sometimes "sneak" in too many sweets, a short-term pleasure I'm more likely to provide myself when I'm eating alone. If I were to work to remember that I am watching myself, even at those weak moments, and will know about the unhealthy choices and feel bad about them later, I'm more likely to avoid the wimpy workouts and extra sweets. Why am I sneaking around? To get out of whose sight? Silly me!
Second, I thought about my school's disciplinary cases based on students' academic dishonesty. When kids copy others' work, use AI to complete their essays and lab reports, plagiarize, and/or take other shortcuts to submit assignments, they usually don't get caught. Still, they have to live with knowing that they didn't do the right thing. By cheating, they learn that they aren't capable of honest success, a lesson that will deteriorate their ability more completely and lastingly than any honest failure would. Can you say "self-fulfilling prophesy"? If these students would remember that when they cheat, they do get caught 100% of the time, by themselves, maybe they'd stop trying to find shortcuts and instead struggle to learn better ways of getting the work done.
What moments in your life would be useful for you to remember that you're always watching yourself? How can we remind others of this? Any good stories to share? Please write them in the comments.
Sadly, you have to have a conscience in order for this excellent philosophy to work. And we’ve just seen that most of America does not have one, or care about cheating or honesty. Sigh.
I hear you. At the same time, I’m trying to figure out how to understand what they do care about. I get that people voted out of anger. Is there a sane path forward? Is there a way to change policies to move toward a more peaceful, happy, unified country? I don’t know.
(Internet reliability) The full quote is “Dance like no one is watching, love like you’ve never been hurt, sing like no one is listening, and live like it is heaven on earth”. It’s often attributed to Mark Twain, but William Purkey, a former public school teacher and author, is also credited with the quote.
Yes, it’s interesting to see the original line. Thanks.