Skip to content

CARITA GARDINER

What to Read When You're Avoiding School Work

Menu
  • Home
  • About
  • Writing
  • “Why”…Wednesdays
  • GrammarLove
  • Contact/Subscribe
Menu

301. Why Empathy over Anger

Posted on October 2, 2024October 1, 2024 by caritagardiner
Screenshot 2024-06-09 at 8.18.16 AM

If you've spoken with me for more than five minutes and/or read more than one of the other posts on this website, you know how I feel about romance novels. I know there are some lousy ones out there, but so many of them are wonderful. Just for the Summer is one such book. I particularly liked the female protagonist's mantra that "if you have a choice between anger and empathy, choose empathy."

I'm not usually quick to jump to anger, but I do leap to undesirable emotions, such as self-righteousness and know-it-all-ness. Often, when I forget to remind myself that we're all doing the best we can with the choices we understand, I act in ways that are, at best not productive and at more likely, harmful. Remembering to lead with empathy helps me get to a more useful stance of curiosity. Taking the time to ask, "Hmm, why would that person do that?" often allows me to think about others' choices in the same way I think about my own. Rather than assuming I know better or have more information to make an informed decision, I try to acknowledge that I can't know what led another person to any given moment. All I can do is try to choose empathy when thinking about others, which is, of course, exactly what I would want them to do for me.

Have you had moments when you made the choice to go with empathy rather than another emotion? Which one? Why? How'd it work out? Please share your responses in the comments.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

WHAT I DO

I serve as a class dean and teach English to high schoolers at a boarding school in Connecticut. I’ve earned a Bachelor of Arts (Amherst College), an Education Master in Learning and Teaching (Harvard University Graduate School of Education), a Master of Arts in English (Bread Loaf School of English), and most recently a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing with a certificate in the online teaching of writing (Southern New Hampshire University).

As a writer, I hope to capture the complexity and joy of life in the New England boarding school world. On this site, I share what I know about trying to write fiction while deaning, teaching English, coaching, and doing the other tasks associated with helping to raise over six hundred other people’s children.

WHAT I CAN DO FOR YOU

Teach                    Tutor

Revise                   Edit

Entertain             Enlighten

Follow Me

  • Instagram
  • Facebook

Contact Me

  • cgardine@hotchkiss.org

Read my recent “Why” Wednesday Blog Posts

  • NetGalley Review of Sunny Side Up
  • 337. Why Not Fit In
  • 336. Why SFAH
  • NetGalley Review of The Ripple Effect
  • NetGalley Review of Far and Away
© 2025 CARITA GARDINER | Powered by Minimalist Blog WordPress Theme