157. Why Did I Care?

I did not take the photo above. It comes from a WSPA article about a stuffed-animal collection drive to let people know about National Adoption Awareness Month. I like the picture because the image captures the overwhelmed feeling I had (several years ago) that moved me to reduce the number of stuffed animals in our house.

My daughters were probably nine and twelve when I realized that we were overrun with plush toys they'd never play with or want. I gathered up dozens of squishy, furry, big-eyed, cute, cuddly animals and other beings, and lots of household items we no longer wanted and advertised a tagless tag sale. (Rather than saying how much everything cost, I let people pick prices that seemed reasonable to them. Having others decide what to pay meant I didn't have to spend any time labelling. Win-win.)

The stuffed animals, heaped onto a giant picnic table, were all free. In my mind, I couldn't get rid of them fast enough. Would I have paid people to take them? Maybe.

But then, one of the couples who arrived and started looking through the mounds of stuffies made me reconsider. They selected maybe five or ten and asked if I was sure they were free. Of course, I wanted to send them to those who would appreciate them now that my own children no longer wanted them. They replied with sincere gratitude that their dog would love to have them as chew toys.

Wait, what? My gut clenched. How could they allow their pup to rip these wonderful objects to shreds? I say this with an apology to Tuukka, but I didn't think a dog could be worthy of the same objects as my kids. Even though I didn't want the toys in our house, I wanted them to bring comfort to other children as they had to mine.

I wonder why I cared. Once I decided that the objects weren't doing anything helpful in my home, I should have let go of the urge to control their use. Even if I thought these possessions should brighten the lives of people rather than pets (again, in case you're reading this, sorry, Tuukka or other dogs, and also, wow, great job on learning how to read and work a computer), I should have seen that the couple was getting joy from picking out which ones would best entertain their pooch. It seems quite obvious to me now that the only difference between a child's stuffed animal and a dog's chew toy is whose slobber soaks its fur.

Frozen's Elsa's great advice helps me more often than not. I had to let it go. The "it" covers both the things (stuffed animals) and the emotions (wanting control). Now, more than a decade later, I've been trying to clear out some of the extra stuff in our house. While I like to know that it's getting appreciated by someone else, I understand that as soon as it's not mine, it's not mine to control. Being okay with how other people use their stuff is part of being able to enjoy myself.

Have you ever had a moment like this one? Do you want, at any level, to control what's not yours? Please share any stories in the comments.