If I managed the navigation correctly, the photo above will bring you to a site on which you can read another mother's hopes for her daughters. Maybe you've already read the amazing Tina Fey's viral list; if you haven't, for goodness sake, click the link!
Her poem/prayer/list works well in its humor and specificity. It works because it sets the bar high and low at the same time. It works because Tina Fey gets the complexity of wanting one's daughters to be totally strong, independent, and resilient but also wanting to protect them in ways that prevent them from ever making bad choices or experiencing pain. Yes, her list works on many levels, but it's not my list, which I try to write below.
Of course, of all the people who will ever read this post, only two are my daughters. (Hi, lovely ladies!) I hope the rest of you will keep reading for several reasons:
- I wish the same things for you.
- You could use the list to consider your goals for yourself or your loved ones.
- You've got a to-do list to ignore, and spending a few more minutes here will help you avoid it.
Okay, without further ado, here's the list I came up with. It has just three items:
May you find your people. None of the identities/demographics of the people matters to me in any way, but your people must accept you for you you are and also demand your best from you, both pushing and helping you to become your best you. They must listen to and empathize with you but also expect you to listen to and empathize with them. Your people will understand you, making you know that you are unconditionally loved and needed.
May you live independently and happily in a world that's not curated for you. You must roll with whatever comes your way, take a long view, and work to improve the world for yourselves and others.
May you find meaningful employment. I don't mind if you make just enough money to live or more (or so much that you can support me in the manner to which I would like to become accustomed), but I do care that you feel good about what you do, that you like showing up for work, that you're making a difference in ways you feel proud of.
What wishes do you have for those you love? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
8 thoughts on “220. Why I’m Making a List”
Love your list. And the Tina Fey link. As dad of two fully launched daughters some of the greatest joys are seeing them find awesome partners to share their lives with, find their calling (in case of my older daughter fulfilling her wish as a 5 year old to become a librarian) and be moms to humans and/or animals. Thanks for the post – brought me a lot of joy this AM!
Thanks, Mitch! I love that your daughter is working toward a life-long goal. We’re even, because your comment brings me a lot of joy!
Three great goals. I continue to work towards attaining them myself, and I join your wish for our next generation.
Yes, they’re definitely good self-goals, too. (And thanks for the help raising our next generation. I know four very grateful girls!)
As a father of two daughters I agree with this list. (especially the part where they support me! )
I love reading your list. I wish the same goals for our children, regardless of their gender.
Fine list, Carita.