Did you know there's a Green Day song called "Let Yourself Go"? I didn't. Clicking the photo above should let you listed to it/watch the video, but I don't recommend doing that if you have or are near someone with innocent ears. It's got some salty language in it!
I looked up the title phrase because I've been thinking about how people use it to mean several things. Green Day uses it to encourage people to do whatever they want, regardless of the consequences. Angry? Punch the person making you angry in the face. Their message seems an irate cross between Elsa's "Let it Go" and Nike's "Just Do It" commands.
During the safer-at-home times, I heard lots of people use the expression to remark that they weren't exercising, ate whatever they wanted, and were pouring larger and ever larger tumblers of wine at night because, hey, why not? We're all wearing soft pants anyway.
The message I want to promote with this post has nothing to do with either of those. Mine is about showing up for events. Last year, the Lufkin Prize winner at my school (Hi, CHF!) gave an inspiring speech in which he advocated showing up for people. I know that when I don't go to events, it's often because I focus on two opportunity costs:
- time I could spend doing other things
- money I could spend elsewhere (for off-campus events--we're lucky that on-campus events are free)
But his speech reminded me that showing up when people are doing something they care about and have worked on isn't about the show or the game or the concert. It's about the people. If we show up for others and witness their special moments, we build better relationships with them. If I allow myself to take part in their special moments, I become part of something bigger and more important. If I get less work done during that time or if I have to spend money to take part in such an event, I have to remind myself that that's what time and money are for. I need to let myself go.
On the day this post goes live, I'll be heading to NYC for an alumni and parent holiday party for my school. It won't be convenient for me to get there, as that city is over two hours from campus. I have diving practice in the afternoon. Exams start in a couple of days. I need to write comments. My Lower Mids often need my attention. All of that said, I'm so excited for the party, at which I'll get to see former students and current parents. I'll even get to travel with dear friends/colleagues, which should make for a fun voyage as well. As much as I like to be on top of my work, I'm trying to encourage myself to let myself go.
What do you think of letting yourself go? Please share any thoughts in the comments.
I have noticed that showing up, be it for a party or being present for a funeral, is a gift of yourself that is appreciated by the host long after the cost in time is forgotten. Those experiences have provided heart-felt memories for me as well, even though they seemed like a chore at the time.
Exactly! I need to remind myself, in the moments when I think about the time I could be spending in other ways, why I want to be there (wherever there is) in the first place. My reason is usually for the people.
I regret not going, especially to weddings and funerals, more than I regret going.
I’ve felt that way over the years, too, and am trying to remind myself of that feeling when I think of obstacles to attendance.
PS: I’d love to know how you got diving practice, a two-hour drive, and a party into one day. I doubt that is unusual for you. Is it boundless energy, super time-management, or do you have a time turner?
Oh, what I’d do with a time turner!
I had to cut practice short, a fact the students didn’t mind as we head into exams.
Definitely not boundless energy — I’m exhausted! Still, worth the effort to see all those wonderful people in NYC!
As per Viv, and thinking about my experiences with showing up or not showing up, I think it’s about 5 :1, regretting not going:regretting going. However, I don’t know what I would have felt after showing up to those I didn’t.
Your post reminds me of words of wisdom I heard many years ago –
Show up.
Pay attention.
Speak the truth.
Let go of the consequence.
I love the first three, but have a harder time with the last one. I’ve been learning a lot about owning the consequences of my actions recently, about the difference between intent and impact. I might be writing future posts on consequences, as I need to mull over that idea.
Yep, not showing up stays with me too.
One of the showing-ups that I love is leisurely phone calls on my birthday.
Phone calls are an important way of “showing up” when we can’t be there in person. Another good reminder. Thanks!
When you have finished with the time turner, I would like a turn please!
Oh, if only! There are several things from HP I’d happily steal out of a room of requirement, starting with the time turner!
I’d like to master disapparition!
When you learn, you can teach me!
It’s so simple, anyone* can do it.
Remember-Destination, Determination, and Deliberation!
* Who has magical powers and of age.
Ah, the difference an asterix can make! Love it.